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How to Follow Directions

Step 1 - Attend meeting to review instructions Step 2 - Follow the instructions Step 3 - ? Step 4 - Profit You may recognize this procedure from the underpants gnomes from South Park (yes, I know, it was "phases" not "steps"; is it still South America?). It's incredibly simple. Someone wrote up the instructions (me, 95% of the time). Someone else (my boss) instructed everyone "here they are, here's what  they are, and you best be following them." Not a week later (3 business days, actually), they were, in fact, not followed. So here I am, watching the email come in, seeing my coworkers name in the notification, and seeing the end users name listed as a generic placeholder because someone can't follow directions. Again. I know what you're thinking: Why is it so hard to follow instructions? Well, if I knew, surely I would tell you (and not call you 'Shirley'). Oh, that wasn't the question? Was it:  Why do you get so annoyed that o...
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Recent posts

New posts coming!

Well, it's been a while, hasn't it? Let's see...last post was 7/8/2020, so what's new? New job, so new things to rag on. And by things I mean things, not people. New people, too, though. Actually, some of the same ones. We'll talk soon. :)
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Typing shouldn't be an issue

Let me frame this first. You know the ellipsis that indicates that the other party is typing a message to you? I HATE THAT I get why people think it's useful, but what I wouldn't give to give whomever thought it would be a good thing a swift kick in the sack. It's particularly frustrating when you work in IT and type 100+ wpm and you get someone who also works in IT but they take so damn long to respond that it feels like they're using the hunt and peck method, with their tongue sticking out of their mouth at the side like they're trying to balance on a slack line. You know what I'm talking about. I, personally, will break a long message up into shorter parts and send them in quick succession rather than make you wait 5 minutes to type out a paragraph (also known as a book in these instances), because I'm trying to be considerate. Oh, and while we're on the subject of typing, know what I actually LIKE? Voice dictation. There is nothing more pleasing than...
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Why do users always associate unrelated problems?

Can someone explain this to me? Got an email this morning: I can't sign into a meeting; when I try on the web I get an error. [Screenshot is inserted] If I try another way, I get a different error. I just updated everything yesterday so my developed apps run from another folder, so this may be the issue. Not sure. YOU DON'T FRICKIN' SAY?!?!? Suddenly you know my job better than I do because those things are OBVIOUSLY related. Your ability to open Zoom or Teams or whatever the fuck meeting you were trying to open is inherently affected by the fact that you run your own custom developed apps from a random folder. Yep, that's gotta be it. Just going to need you to get a 5# sledge, your laptop, and a tree stump, then put those 3 things together, got it?
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Microsoft Teams?

Today is the big day. I finally get to roll out Microsoft Teams across the board. I've only been suggesting this should happen for about a year or so and I finally got my wish (and honestly only because of the coronavirus). Speaking of which, why isn't Corona (the beer) on sale during this time? It should be like, half price! Anyway, so far, so good.
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IT isn't bloody.

So, I'm having some mentoring sessions with a c-level exec at my company and we were talking about setting boundaries with respect to people asking for help on the fly (as in passing by in the hallway, or on your way to take a shit). I made the comment about my girlfriend not being able to say no to clients at work and he lays this gem on me: Servers don't tend to bleed out while you're gone. So yeah, I think I'm going to enjoy my lunch breaks just a *little* more now... (Oh, and my girlfriend is a veterinarian, which he knows. That would probably help that make more sense.)
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